Before & After.

I'm definitely not one for endless, over the top before & after photos. I can't stand all the Instagram profles that are riddled with girls with photos of them looking perfectly fine before on the left (but is insinuated that they're too 'fat') & showing off their ridiculously sculpted abs after on the right. Now, that's fantastic for them if that's what they were trying to acheive. And they should be really proud of the work they've put in. But having whole accounts dedicated to this image just terrifies me. So many girls who's bodies are perfectly healthy, look at those photos and think they are not good enough. I've said it many times, and I'll say it again. Being skinny & having a 6 pack does not equal healthy for everyone. And should not be made out to be the one & only end goal for anyone trying to be kinder to their bodies. So please, everyone reading this understand that this is totally personal to my own body - yours & everyone elses is different & THAT'S OK.

I came across a pretty major milestone the other day. I got a notification on my phone & saw a photo of me from 2 years ago. 2 years ago, I was unable to work because of CFS, I found it near impossible to do anything more than walk to the shop & back in a day. I slept for 12 hours at night & had to take several naps during the day. My self-confidence was at an all time low - I struggled to leave the house without triggering a panic attack, I'd get ready to go to an event or meet friends but then look at myself in the mirror & go back to bed. I weighed the most I had ever & felt my body was working against me 24/7. I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

2 years ago, I went to Adelaide with my then boyfriend & went for a hike with him & his mum. I was fucking terrified. So much so when walking to the starting point I told them to keep going & I'd just start from here (slightly further up the hill) so that I didn't hold them back. I was so panicked that even with my head start that they would catch up with me within minutes & I'd look stupid. Well, I ended up doing the whole hike on my own because they never managed to catch up to me. Most importantly, I actually managed to do the whole thing. I climbed to the top of Mount Lofty! By far the most exercise I'd managed to do in years.

2 years ago, at the top of that mountain, I decided things needed to change. And since then I made sure they did. VERY slowly. VERY gradually. And it's still on-going. But oh so much has changed!

And yes, my body shape is different now & I feel a lot more confident in myself. But that's just an added bonus, a visual reminder of the hard work I've put in. What's really important to me is what my body can DO now. I'm so proud of what it can do now!

Where there's a will, there's a way. It might take years, but you can & you will get there!